When it comes to what women want, opinions are all over the map. While it’s true that what a particular woman wants in a man will vary according to her preferences, there are plenty of qualities virtually all will like. If you’re ready to hit the dating scene or you just aren’t attracting the type of lady you’d like to be with, take these tips on how to be attractive to women to heart.
See what you can do to improve the odds of finding that special someone when you put the 10 laws of desirability to work for you.
1. Cultivate Your Confidence
Understanding confidence can be tricky. If you’re too confident, you may come across as conceited, pompous or arrogant. However, lacking in confidence can make you seem shady or generally unsure of yourself. A confident man knows his strengths and weaknesses and isn’t afraid to own them.
For example, a confident man will make eye contact, smile, and approach without fear. You can ‘fake it until you make it,’ or you can sign up for an interpersonal skills class in your town if you’d like to improve your confidence.
2. Be Open and Honest
Little more sets off a woman’s alarm bells than catching her date in a lie. Even if it’s something minor, such as what sports you played in college, it will make you look bad and turn women off. A liar is unattractive. If you have a habit of fibbing about anything, even small details, make it a point to stop. You also want to be open.
If you’re not comfortable talking about the mundane details of your life, practice as much as possible. You don’t need to spill your secrets or over-share, but being able to converse without awkward silences and hedging will put the ladies you meet at ease.
3. Work on Your Appearance
No, you don’t have to look like a bodybuilder or a movie star! (Though, truth be told it does help) However, you do want to put your best foot forward. Up your grooming game, update your wardrobe if needed, and find the right cologne for you. If you smoke, make sure your teeth aren’t stained and that your car, home, and clothes don’t reek of tobacco.
If you have acne or other skin problems, get to the dermatologist. If you need to lose some weight, consider joining a gym or taking up an active hobby to help you shed some pounds. You don’t need to look perfect, but you do need to look like a man who takes pride in his appearance.
4. Know What Questions to Ask
Polite society dictates that we don’t discuss religion or politics with strangers, but there are some questions you don’t want to ask upon meeting a lady for the first few dates. Of course, if you are very active in your church or are heavily involved in politics, you can mention those interests, but be wary of delving too deep into these subjects. If she says she’s divorced, don’t press for details.
If she mentions she can’t have children or doesn’t want them, accept that at face value. Resist the urge to ask her about her family if she doesn’t bring them up. While asking questions is a great way to get to know someone, asking the wrong one can bring a meeting to a screeching halt and stone-faced silence.
It’s better to ask people about their hobbies, pets, books, music and other light topics if you’re concerned about asking a bad question. Ask open-ended questions, and try to avoid standard job interview queries.
5. Cultivate Your Manners
An attractive man knows how to be gracious and kind to waitstaff, keep his elbows off the table and chew with his mouth closed. While you don’t have to act as if your grandmother is on the date with you, you definitely don’t want to use saucy language or otherwise be gentlemanly. Keep your eyes on her face when she’s talking, don’t interrupt and keep your voice at a volume acceptable for the venue. Keep your phone in your pocket, muted, and give her your attention. Being mannerly and gracious is an attractive quality that women will notice right away.
6. Define Your Long-Term Goals
A person who knows what they want out of life exudes confidence and happiness, regardless of their gender. While you don’t necessarily want to talk about your family goals, such as marriage and kids, early in the relationship, you may want to talk about other long-term achievements you’re striving to accomplish. Such goals could include:
Your career aspirations. Not in terms of a higher salary, but what you hope to accomplish in your field, research you want to complete or a career highlight you want to experience. Personal goals. You may want to hike the entire Appalachian Trail, master a musical instrument or write a novel.
Your contribution goal to the world or society in general. This could be wanting to volunteer a certain number of hours per year, raise funds for a specific project or inventing a product that would advance technology in developing countries. A person without long-term goals can seem directionless or apathetic towards their life. Even if your goals seem silly to you, they do show that you have a plan and a desire to accomplish something.
7. Show That You Have Feelings
The days of the tight-lipped macho man are largely over. Women like men who aren’t afraid to hold babies, pet puppies or admit they cried at the end of Old Yeller. Admitting that you do have emotions and aren’t afraid to show them in acceptable ways is a hallmark of a well-adjusted person. This is attractive to a woman and tells her you are comfortable with yourself.
8. Improve Your Body Language Skills
No matter what your height, you need to stand up straight. If you are markedly taller than your date, do not loom over her or crowd her space. Talk to yourself in front of a mirror, in private, to see your own facial expressions and gestures. Walk around in front of a full-length mirror and scrutinize the way you move.
Having a confident posture can actually increase your testosterone levels and can also help with issues such as back pain. If you need some tips on body language, one of the most popular TED Talks of all time explains it in detail.
9. Avoid ‘Aggressiveness’
The vast majority of pickup artists and Red Pill sites yammer on and on about how women love aggressive men. While it is true that some women may find this attractive, others will find it creepy and incredibly offensive. If you try to take her hand and she pulls back, let go. If she doesn’t want to give you her number, bow out of the conversation politely and move on.
If you are standing close to her and she backs away, don’t invade her space bubble again. You want to be confident and friendly, not creepy. Respect her limits and watch her body language. Being aggressive can get you slapped or tossed out of a bar. It’s not worth it. You want a woman who is receptive to you.
If you’re out on a date and you spill your drink, laugh at your own clumsiness. There’s nothing to be gained by getting nervous or upset by such a small gaffe. Don’t be afraid to laugh, as it shows you are relaxed and enjoying her company. Of course, you never want to laugh at another person who has suffered a misfortune as that can come off as being cruel.