Why so Many Expectations?
Research suggests that the lower the expectations in a relationship, the less frustration and the greater the chances of marriage success. A study done at Florida State University (US) states that too many expectations harm relationships. When someone sets expectations without understanding the reality, they are not fulfilled. This leads to disappointment, then a round of accusations begins. Finally, marriage and love disappear, endless debates remain. However, in some relationships, it also has a positive effect, but it happens when both realize the mistake and try to correct the flaws. Apart from the wishes, thinking, skills of the partners, their circumstances also vary. The results of the research said that it should be clear in the mind of every newly married couple what they want from marriage. They should identify their strengths and weaknesses, only then they can pursue the marriage.
We see at the end of the movies that the hero and heroine happily live together. Every fairytale I read in childhood ended at this happy moment. If you look at Hindi films, then all the battles for love end thereby marriage, while in real life the story starts after the end. Many times the youth have more expectations from the marriage, they feel that marriage is the answer to their every question or the partner will fulfill their every need. When this cannot be done, then their dreams start cracking. They start wondering where they made a mistake.
If someone does not live up to one’s ideals, then who is at fault? Instead of hurriedly reaching a conclusion and blaming the partner, also think once that your ideals are not too high? A comparative study was conducted about expectations between young boys and girls and ten-year-old marriages at a US university. It found that the aspirations of the youth were far greater than those of married couples because they were living in a ‘happy living together in the end’ fantasy and creating a beautiful world of dreams with open eyes.
Manage expectations
Elders have been saying that if you want to be happy, do not keep expectations from others. It is also not necessary that a person can be truly happy when the expectations are met. If a woman wants her spouse to help with household chores and it does not happen, then obviously her hope is broken. On the other hand, if the partner is helpful, it is not necessary to be truly happy. Actually happiness is more than unexpected events. Where there is no hope and when it is desired, there is happiness.
Like, sometimes it is late in the office, tired and returning home, thinking that there will be a lot of work to do as soon as we go home, prepare dinner, but ongoing home Hot tea is welcome and your fatigue goes away within minutes. As soon as they enter the kitchen, it is revealed that dinner is also ready. Apparently, happiness will double as such was not expected. It is important to be a little practice in every relationship. If a problem is repeatedly coming in the way of relationships, do not get entangled with the partner, but think about solving the problem. Marriage is definitely the closest relationship but keep it real even while keeping expectations so that the relationship does not break when they break.
Remember 5 Things to remember:
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- Marriage cannot fulfill every dream. If you think of fulfilling all your dreams in marriage, you will always be dissatisfied. Keep expectations of yourself and fulfill them instead of the other.
- Marriage is not a medicine to overcome loneliness or boredom. If there is loneliness within someone, no other person can erase it.
- There will always be a honeymoon period in marriage, it is wrong to expect. The sooner you accept the reality on your return from honeymoon, the more you will be able to stay happy.
- Accept the person as he is. Do not marry to change him. After wasting a large part of your energy and time, you will understand the reality that no one can change anyone.
- Remember, the courtship period is like a bride in a veil and no one saw her face. The reality comes out only after removing the veil. Therefore, keep the dream of every dream with your heart as well as your mind.