In the beginning, it’s not easy to tell the difference between limerence vs love. But eventually, you’ll need to know whether this is true love or not. Sometimes, we’re convinced we’re in love with someone, even if we haven’t spoken to them, or worse, even met them. I didn’t know the differences between limerence vs love back then, but when I was sixteen, Twilight had hit the theatres, and it was a big deal.
I watched the movie a dozen times, and felt, at the time, what I believed was love. I was obsessed with Robert Pattinson; I thought he was everything, even though I had never met him. I was convinced I was in love with him and was almost shocked when I realized things probably wouldn’t work out between Mr. Pattinson and me. Was that love? Or was that limerence?
When it comes to understanding limerence vs love, it’s very important to know the difference between the two, as complicated as it may seem. Or else you may end up investing yourself in a relationship that actually isn’t based on love.That’s not a relationship you want to be in, at least, when you think it’s a loving one. We don’t really spend time talking about love and limerence, yet, it’s a really important topic to discuss. Not only will it help you understand your current relationship, but it will also help you process your past relationships and get you to understand what a healthy and loving relationship is really about.
Limerence vs Love – The 5 big differences you MUST know
Which is it for you?
#2 Limerence is about attraction. This is where we mix up love and limerence. Limerence is when you’re highly attracted to someone else. But it’s not a feeling based on genuine love.
For example, I was obsessed with Robert Pattinson, but those feelings were based on attraction and not actual love for him. How could I love him if I didn’t know him?
#3 You feel you can’t live without them. When you’re in love, you feel that you don’t want to live without this person. But when it’s limerence, you feel that you can’t live without them. And there’s a huge difference between the two. The thought of not having them next to you gives you feelings of anxiety and unbearable pain for the possible loss of their affection and attention.
#4 Your relationship isn’t fully developed. Limerence usually occurs in the initial stages of a new relationship or even if a relationship is nonexistent. This happens before you actually get to know the person for who they are. Instead, you’re living in a fantasy, while you’re daydreaming about your future with them or picture who you want them to be.
#5 Limerence is emotional dependency. When your limerent object of affection is not having a good day, you don’t have a good day. If they withdraw from you, you become depressed and feel a sense of hopelessness. Your emotional state depends solely on how this person feels. It’s almost as if you’re addicted to them; this is limerence.
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